September 15, 2004
Surely I am unjust to myself in feeling so compelled to hold on to something I never truly had; but what if I let go? Am I to be @ a time when nothing means anything and everything at the same time?In being unjust my mind has followed my heart - I turn to see him where he truly is not. My eyes, like him, are wanting only to deceive me. In this shape, I cannot continue - for my will is slowly breaking and what if my will breaks completely and I find myself confessing my undying love, which he will not have, but cast out rather as though I were but a torment to his spirits, a knot in his perfectly straight life?
I cannot fathom his hatred of me or my attentions...
*Always.
Caitlin
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Sometimes those most worthy of love are not made happy by it. ~Dangeous Liaisons
It is on the strength of observation that one finds a way; so we must dig and delve unceasingly. ~Claude Monet 1840-1926