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July 11, 2006So, here's the thing that I've been contemplating lately...
It's very rare that anyone that I write about in here likes what I have to say, it's rare but not entirely unheard of. And here's the other thing too that's been bothering me. What I write generally tends to be - for the most part - true! Whether you like it or not...it's generally one of my best traits in pointing out people's character flaws. I happen to be able to do it very well for myself as well.
Writing is my best form of communication. Why? Because I can write everything I need or want to say without being interrupted, without being sidetracked or otherwise. So, I am writing this now, not to be unkind or cruel, I am writing this excerpt now because it's the truth and it really seems that no matter how many ways I say it to your face you....still.don't.get.it. You just don't. And as much as I want to believe it's deliberate on your part, I am now beginning to realize that perhaps you are just uncapable of understanding because you're uncapable of hearing anything you don't want to hear.
God! Stand up and be your own woman. I cannot stand to see you so tied up in a man's life that you have no life of your own. You don't. Your world revolves around his world. You have no friends of your own - which honestly, to be it's becoming quite clear why - nor do you have a hobby, interest, or pasttime that does not involve him. I wrote earlier what I did about you because it's true.
And another thing, you are a shitty friend. You are. I was there for you when you were enduring your hardships concerning your breakup and now because you're back together suddenly it's like you no longer need a shoulder to cry on - which I am glad you are happy but you just cast people aside wheneer you get what you want. I have tried on several occassions to get a hold of you and you have not called me back. Oh big fucking deal! You wrote me a message on myspace, gee, I should only be so lucky. The fact of the matter is: you shun everyone who isn't him. And I think it's sad, sickening, and very, very pathetic. You are never going to know who you are until you can stand on your own. Alone. Without a guy there to always make you feel validated.
I think you owe me a sort of apology - nothing monumental by any means - but something along the lines of, "Hey, you've always been a good friend to me and I am really sorry I ditched you the minute I got back together with so-and-so." And until we have some sort of discussion acknowledging that fact I hope you're happy with your one and only friend in the world.
did you miss?
Sometimes those most worthy of love are not made happy by it. ~Dangeous Liaisons
It is on the strength of observation that one finds a way; so we must dig and delve unceasingly. ~Claude Monet 1840-1926