I'm beat. Mentally. Emotionally. And even somewhat physically.
I fooled myself.
I do it every time.
I think I can be something I'm not. I think I can be with someone I don't know; someone that doesn't know me. And all the while my heart is slowly breaking. And I'm doing it to myself because I keep holding out for that out-of-this-world, never-gonna-happen change. I keep thinking maybe it'll get better. Maybe he just needs time. Maybe I just need to relax a little more and quit analyzing every little detail of every thing he says or doesn't say.
I can't do it anymore. I'm exhausted. And I'm the only one. You sure as hell don't see him running around wondering what I'm doing or not doing.
Why does it have to be like this?
Why did he have to lie to me?
Is there is something in my eyes, my face, my features that makes it impossible for guys to tell me the truth about what they want or don't want?
*Always.
Caitlin
Sometimes those most worthy of love are not made happy by it. ~Dangeous Liaisons
It is on the strength of observation that one finds a way; so we must dig and delve unceasingly. ~Claude Monet 1840-1926