2004-08-09
Oh, my! I've made a mistake and I feel horrible about it. At that particular moment, I think I lost a lot of the hope and good feelings I had stored inside of me...I was finally healing...and getting over *him*.And last night while I was engaging in some rather questionable acts with and old friend, I thought of him. I thought of him so much I almost caught myself crying...
I thought:
No one will ever be as good as him.
And I don't mean sexually (although I do wonder about that as well); I mean everything. God, I want him so bad that I would cheat a crippled orphan to even stand next to him. And a God he is not...but a good man among bad ones.
He was the only thing I wanted for the longest time and I think I forgot how to stop wanting...I forgot a lot of things when it came to him.
*Always.
*I lost the battle because I never thought to fight.*
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Sometimes those most worthy of love are not made happy by it. ~Dangeous Liaisons
It is on the strength of observation that one finds a way; so we must dig and delve unceasingly. ~Claude Monet 1840-1926