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2004-04-03
I fuck everything up...all the time. Without a doubt I am the biggest fuck up ever. I have decided that is unrealistic to think that you can have ANYTHING with a person whom you have had a one night stand with; it doesn't work and it never will...For some reason I feel like I am always trying to be something I'm not and I hate that...he doesn't know me; I don't know him. And if he knew the real me he probably wouldn't like me anyhow. So, I can't do this anymore...I am always wondering what he thinks of me and I don't know why I do: HE DOESN'T KNOW ME! It shouldn't matter...I shouldn't worry or be upset about things that don't really matter...so I am stopping with these insane leaps of reasoning to try and justify why I do the things I do...I don't want to feel the way I do anymore, so I'm done! I quit; I give up and I'm turning in the towel (or what not). "One more game of hearts in armor..." *Always. Caitlin |
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Sometimes those most worthy of love are not made happy by it. ~Dangeous Liaisons It is on the strength of observation that one finds a way; so we must dig and delve unceasingly. ~Claude Monet 1840-1926 |