I mean, what was I to say? That is all it had ever been was sex...he more or less decided that, NOT ME! We had never had a conversation about it before and I just assumed (bad I know) that he was content with the sort of fucked up "relationship" we had (whatever it was...)! I told him though, because I wanted to start off being honest with him, that of course I wanted something more than just sex. I told him I liked him (because I do!)
Nothing was really accomplished from that dialogue though. He told me he wasn't sure how he felt about me...and secretly I laughed because it has always amazed me how a guy can NOT be certain how he feels about a girl but uh he can still fuck her right? I mean, generally speaking (GENERALLY!), girls often sleep with guys they are interested in or that they at least like. But it's different for guys, and that has always made me laugh.
He just got out of a serious three year relationship...apparently, he got his heart broken. I feel bad for him, but that is a position he put himself in...I told him that I understood he wanted time or what not to think about where "we" were going and what he wanted. I said basically it was on his end to decide what he wanted because I was not bogged down with the baggage from a previous relationship! But I hate leaving loose ends because I know that giving him time (the approprate thing to do of course) will come back to bite me in the ass at some point. (IT ALWAYS DOES)
I won't deny that I like him but I won't overlook the fact that it has taken us three weeks to finally have this "talk"...I don't know if I can stand to be with someone that moves so slowly when it comes to important issues; or maybe they weren't important to him, maybe they were just important to me...
*Always.
Caitlin
Sometimes those most worthy of love are not made happy by it. ~Dangeous Liaisons
It is on the strength of observation that one finds a way; so we must dig and delve unceasingly. ~Claude Monet 1840-1926