"-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Transitional//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-trans.dtd"> A Life Less Ordinary
A Life Less Ordinary A Life Less Ordinary
2003-11-15
AH, the joys of college. Actually not so...I think that I really underestimated what it would take to make me happy in college. I have found that many things that I thought would be entertaining hold little value to me now. I have no real relationships with anyone here. I have no real friends anymore. I don't feel any smarter...in fact I feel that college life has belittled me in a lot of ways. I don't feel like a whole person anymore...I feel lost and as though my life is spinning out of control. I try to think about what I can do to keep i together, but nothing has worked. I fear that this will be one of those "I will just have to find my place" type events in my life. But who ever really finds their place?

Who ever can really say, "Yes, I found my place at around the age of twenty-five!"? No one lives that way. My mom hasn't even found her place in the world and she is forty-three. SHe still has dreams that are still floating around out there.

Or is that what finding your place is all about? It's not really finding your place so much as finding what makes you happy? What keeps you going? What keeps you dreaming? What keeps you...alive?

Or is it an endless drive that just keeps us looking? Looking for what, we aren't exactly sure but it is something, something we feel we need to search for; otherwise we don't really have anything but the reality of our boring lives! So many questions and very few answers...that's how it always is right? Haha! My children, I understand, completely, nothing about life of course, but everything that happens is only because there would be nothing else for me to look forward to. Without disappointment there would be no happiness, without hate there would be no love, or without fear there would be no hope in the world.

Goodnight my children!

always.

Caitlin

Wilted | Fresh


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Sometimes those most worthy of love are not made happy by it. ~Dangeous Liaisons
It is on the strength of observation that one finds a way; so we must dig and delve unceasingly. ~Claude Monet 1840-1926
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