Ah, well here I am once again sitting in front of my computer eating pizza rolls. I was watching Bridget Jones' Diary and I got to thinking; I think that I shall end up like her~ a tragic spinster in my mid-thirties looking for someone to love. Aha! Surprising is it not? Not to me it's not...I have held up quite a pretense with those of you who read this diary, but in all honesty, I am not so confident in my abilities as a *female. I find there are many things about myself that I could better, but I choose not to because I am stubborn. Honestly, I like myself right now. I know that I am judgemental and a little cruel and even mean sometimes, but it keeps me amused for the most part. If I am angry about something or mean to someone, you better believe it is for a darn good reason!!! I find that I get what I want more often than I used to. I used to let people walk all over me and talk down to me and even patronize me, but I no longer allow such things to happen, and I don't necessarily see that as a bad thing.
I can admit though that I tend to be a little fake sometimes, fake to those people, even, that think they know me best. I like to see how far people will go or how much they can take. I do this because I don't want to be around weak-minded people...even though I am weak-minded sometimes. It's ironic is it not? I am fickle, this I know, and I change my mind often about what I expect from myself and what I expect from other people as well.
This entry is really rather random today, I know, but that is sort of how I feel in reality...a little random...
always.
cdc
Sometimes those most worthy of love are not made happy by it. ~Dangeous Liaisons
It is on the strength of observation that one finds a way; so we must dig and delve unceasingly. ~Claude Monet 1840-1926