2003-07-12
Last night Joey and I had a conversation about "what we are". And I became so mad, because he cannot just let things be what they are...he has to overidentify and explain everything all the time. I think that is what makes things hard for him sometimes...the other day when I was over there and I realized it wasn't going to last I was relieved. I was relieved because I don't want to be his saver and I think that is what he wants me to be, and I just can't do that! I am still trying to save myself, how can I do it for him as well?I am so sick of it all; I don't want to be with him, I feel it and I don't know what to do about it either. I don't want to hurt him, but in a way I know I already have! What should I do? Should I tell him? Of course I should tell him, but I won't. I am just too weak to be forward with him and spare the extra pain from him.
I feel like every person I have ever had feelings for wanted me to save them from something, whether it was theirself or the pain they experience...
Caiti-lynn
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Sometimes those most worthy of love are not made happy by it. ~Dangeous Liaisons
It is on the strength of observation that one finds a way; so we must dig and delve unceasingly. ~Claude Monet 1840-1926