It sucks. Sometimes I write such good things, being at home while everyone else is still in school, but most of it is stuff that I cannot post for fear of resentment or broken hearts or even crushing truths. Some day I will post these things, but it will be nowhere in the near future.
Before my friend left for New York he asked me if I thought I was settling. I said that perhaps I was. He shook his head and his lips kind of rolled into a frown. I feel like right now is my time to settle, my time to be ordinary, mundane even mediocre. I've never felt like one of those people that can be 100% all of the time. In high school, I was the shining star, the dedicated student, and the mindful child. Right now...I just want to be none of those things. I just want to escape from that for a while and make some mistakes and see where life takes me. I'll settle for that.
*Always.
Caitlin
Sometimes those most worthy of love are not made happy by it. ~Dangeous Liaisons
It is on the strength of observation that one finds a way; so we must dig and delve unceasingly. ~Claude Monet 1840-1926