Today was so odd for me. There I was being productive and I was in a fairly decent mood - I wasn't tired (rare), I wasn't feeling too bad (though I have a sinus infection) and I was generally trying to be positive (very rare). Yes, that was me this afternoon until about 1:20 in the afternoon when I walked into the cafeteria. I was grabbing a tray and there I saw you: in line paying for your food. At that instant I felt this sickness in the pit of my stomach...I felt something I hadn't felt in a long time: hurt.
Everything in that instant came flooding back, your words to me, my words to you. I can't seem to get away from you. Everytime I try and move on something slaps me in the face like a brick wall that I've run in to. And I always wonder, "Does he ever think about me?" Which, I'm sure you don't and that's fine but still I wonder...
So, to my own dismay I saw you there and I thought, "It's ok, I can handle it, no big deal." I go through the line and I am bound and determined to sit opposite of you - you went left (or so I thought) so I went right. I saw you sitting somewhere over away from me and I was so glad. I went to a four person table with my tray waiting on Jessica...and I look over and realize that you weren't on the left side of the room, you were on the right...right next to me in fact. I sat at the table next to yours! And that's just it...I am always wondering WHAT? That's not normal by any means...of all the times, geez! I don't know, seriously! How do these things keep happening to me?
*Always.
Caitlin
Sometimes those most worthy of love are not made happy by it. ~Dangeous Liaisons
It is on the strength of observation that one finds a way; so we must dig and delve unceasingly. ~Claude Monet 1840-1926