I told her that I just wanted to get over him and that I didn't even care if we ever got together or not, that I just wanted to get over him and the pain. This confession makes me feel a bit weak...but I can't do this again. I can't play the role of being someone strong and confident when that is not how I am really feeling.
I don't feel strong and confident right now; I feel broken and defeated and it really just, sucks! I don't like feeling this way...who would though? I keep having these thoughts: "Is he thinking of me when I'm thinking of him? Does he understand what he's doing to me?" You know, those types of things. And he probably doesn't realize how he's hurt me and I suppose it's more or less because he's a guy and guys don't really think about things like that.
At one point, I think I actually thought it would be easier to be a guy - because I never really wanted to be emotional or have to deal with any of that bullshit! But knowing my luck, were I a guy - I'd be gay and overly sensitive!
*Always.
Caitlin
*You seem to move on easily, so please forgive me - I can't get over you*
Sometimes those most worthy of love are not made happy by it. ~Dangeous Liaisons
It is on the strength of observation that one finds a way; so we must dig and delve unceasingly. ~Claude Monet 1840-1926