We had this amazing connection (still do) and I felt he was the only guy I could truly talk to about my sex life and things that I told no one but my closest girlfriends...and he was never judgemental about it either. It amazed me. I find myself thinking about him at least once or twice a week, more when I actually talk to him...
And last night we had this awesome conversation and it flowed like it was the most natural thing in the world for us to be talking about our feelings with one another...I have waited for that for soooo long. And with him I have that; but the problem is...I'm not with him. I am not with anyone. And I am so scared that if I do get with him that he will leave me for someone whom he already loves. And I don't think I could take that, not from him...anyone but him.
So, now the question is what to do? Do I carry on the fancy charade or end it before the reality of pain comes in to play? I don't know...I have never been any good in these types of situations...look at my track record! Not a single boyfriend that I actually really believed in.
I feel like both choices are the right ones and the wrongs ones...what do I do?
always.
caitlin
Sometimes those most worthy of love are not made happy by it. ~Dangeous Liaisons
It is on the strength of observation that one finds a way; so we must dig and delve unceasingly. ~Claude Monet 1840-1926